I take things for granted. I used to have a #3thingstobegratefulfor hashtag on Twitter, but I lost interest after some time. The hashtag lost its meaning too. Far too often I focused on the superficial and events which happened outside my routines, and there were days when I – ironically – scraped for things to be grateful for. There is a great deal of hubris at work too. With my arrogance it was easy to conclude that I accounted for all the success I had. It was my work ethic. My determination. My desire to beat the competition.
I take people for granted. A few weeks ago I asked friends to complete a leadership questionnaire. 20 to 30 of them – some whom I’ve worked for, worked with, am together with – gave feedback on how i was doing as a leader, as a person. The quantitative results on transformative leadership aside, the qualitative answers on my main shortcoming and attribute to improve on were sobering. Sobering, because they hit the spot. I could blame inertia, yet my predilection for routines has made me myopic.
Developing self-reflexivity when you’re immersed in the routines of work or school is hard. It’s far easier to trudge along and hope that things work out. That my friends have been so forthcoming is something to be thankful for.
I take my life for granted. I whine about the uncertainty after graduation, put my insecurities on display, and moan about school – its redundancies and silly competitions. But life has been kind, and many things and people have made it possible. I had a lot of time to Finland to assess what I had done – and wrote about it (again) – though it’s probably the time to actually do something. As an independent academic assignment I’ll have to craft an action plan of sorts, so this could coincidentally provide the impetus to make changes. To be less obsessed with competition, to show appreciation more proactively, and to hold more dearly to the people who matter.
Time will tell how this pans out. For the better, I hope.